day 22, to the one you give a second chance

Day 22. Someone you want to give a second chance to

Indiana,

Don't let this go to your head. I didn't like you the first time. We didn't get on very well. You broke so many pieces of me–my spirit, my heart, my wallet, my faith in post-secondary education. (Ball State was great, but the process is more bureaucratic than you realize. I was naive. I wanted us all there based on merit, on the desire to educate each other.)

I'm not coming back because I miss you. I'm not coming back because I like you in any way. I'm coming back because you happen to be near people I love & holding people I love. I'm coming back because I was told that Bloomington is nothing like the rest of you.

You're like the conservative, Republican grandpa with a large gun collection that just happens to think giving money to education is a good thing. You're a state with one, tiny "liberal" part of yourself, & that's the part I'm going to.

I'm trying to be patient with you, but you're so gray & flat that you're not giving me much to work with. You have to be patient with me too, though. I'm not good at forgiveness; I don't usually consider second chances necessary–just "moving on" & letting it unfold. So, I won't officially say it's a second chance. I'll say it's a fresh start, if we're looking for phrases that mark our experiences.

I'll say that I'm trying to forget what it was like to be there before & take in this next three years without strings of memories or biases attached. I'll even say that I'm excited–truly & childishly–to see how you've made this, a hippie college town, work out. So let's shake on it & agree not to look back for the sake of turning into very sad, disappointed salt. Let's go to Math Camp, ride our bikes around, spend afternoons in second-hand book stores, pick our favorite coffee shop & buy a puppy.

Love Soon,
Meg

P.S. That last bit was a test. We'll see if Joe lets us get a puppy. Yes, we have a rabbit, but that's not always a bad thing. (This just happens to be the kind of dog I want, too. Unfortunately, something tells me Baby wouldn't be so keen on giving up the role as dominant pet.)


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