doing

I have been a raging ball of, umm, rage today. Luckily, I've turned that into a rage of productivity. (Unluckily, the raging weather back in the States is causing serious havoc. Devastating! This has to be the worst tornado season in ages...or have I just been blocking out the past?)

I spent more than the anticipated amount of hours grading exams today, and that was after spending a surprise chunk of my life grading exams for someone else who has caused more than a bit of tension in the work place. I keep telling myself, "It's almost over." Then another surprise comes up. Then, and this is often worse, nothing comes up, and I think, "No! It's almost over."

I may never be a teacher again.

I most likely will not be seeing anyone here ever again.

Oh, God. Okay, so I've been blocking these things out. I'm on a caffeine and adrenaline high, and I have been FLYING through a new to-do list. (Item number one on the list was to make the list, so that made it immediately feel like a success.) I'm counting the cross-offs on my daily list until I can free myself from the computer, where I've been for hours now, and go buy a nice bottle of wine to go with dinner. Nothing like burning the last bit of your paycheck in style! (We've gotten on a Gewurztraminer craze, so I need to tell you all about that soon. All I'll say now is: Find it!)

I've fixed my résumé, which is sort of depressing because it made me realize how completely trashed the ones I sent for graduate assistantship positions were. I've fixed my CV, which is difficult since I don't know what to put for a permanent address anymore. At some point, your parents NEED to stop getting your mail for you... but that point is still about two months away. I feel like I'm set for some new job/internship prospects, and that's exciting.

Joe will be glad to read this post, because it means the excessive cursing (when the Internet crashes while you're "on the phone" with your family; when you're supposed to be leaving for a meeting but you're still in your PJs because you forgot about the meeting; when you're doing dishes and your nails get all discolored and brittle; when you're mad at yourself for eating cookies) should be dying down now.

I had to cancel plans for tonight with a couple who have come to mean a lot to me. I had a friend offer new plans which I tried to gently decline. I need the night to continue the productivity, finish grading and making exams and get myself back into my writing. I need another coffee, then a glass of wine to calm down, then time to close my eyes for five minutes and not think of anything.

"You take life to seriously," I was told today. She, my more relaxed coworker who is also drowning in work yet able to host a soirée, is probably right, but I'm living for the moment when I close the laptop and have nothing waiting on my but a pizza and the feeling you get when you take your glasses off.

Cheers to that. I'll be back to normal (actually, well above normal) activity, wake-up calls and social calls tomorrow. Makes sense, since it's Joe's mid-week day off. Who needs class on Wednesdays, anyway?

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