day 13, to ask for forgiveness

Day 13. Someone you wish could forgive you

Hey,

We haven't talked in a while. In fact, I don't think we've talked since three months before we stopped living together. We've both gotten married. Without inviting each other. Those last two years on campus, we seemed to move without seeing each other, without even feeling the other person's eyes looking through us.


I loved getting to know you–creating our new life, finding our new circle of friends, watching "Chicago" and leaving each other notes. You went all out on my birthdays, and it meant a lot to me. I'm not sure what happened in the summer months between those two years. We both came back nervous, awkward around each other, living somewhere else in our minds.

I'm afraid that you've written off our friendship as a phase you went through. We weren't always responsible. We weren't always behaving appropriately. Is it bad that I still love that–the times when we really let ourselves go? I don't mean the times we were falling or holding each others' hair. Admittedly not our high points. I mean the times when we danced like it didn't matter and we were fine with whatever they said about us when we walked into the residence hall at 4 a.m.


Looking back, there was a lot that happened that first year that shaped who we both are–you found your truly best friends and began preparing for that second when everything would change; I found Joe and starting seeing the kind of life I wanted to live. 

What I'm afraid of is that, in all of the crazy things that happened, you were asking me for help in a way I didn't notice or recognize. I thought we were fine, & I'm afraid I missed reaching out to you. I'm afraid I've hurt you & didn't realize it. 

I know that you're doing well; you're happy. You seem to be all put together again, neatly. I'm happy for you. I hope that, if you feel I worked against that in some way, you can forgive me.


Sincerely,
Megan


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