day 27, to the girl you knew for a day

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Day 27. The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Dear orientation leader,

It took a while to realize that you didn't really like us. That it was your job to be friendly & make us feel welcome, which is nice don't get me wrong. I needed that. I was 18 & alone. I'd purposely gone to a school where I didn't know anyone. I'm not good in crowds of (more than five) people. I clam up. Your kindness opened me up. A bit.

I still didn't like the "ice breakers." All those games we played to remember each others' names. I forgot the names, & most of the people, within a few days. It's funny how much you can love & need people in proximity–then they're gone & we let ourselves forget. We would pass each other on the street & pretend not to notice each other, not to see each other. I'm not saying this because I thought you did a bad job. You gave us your all. You just got dealt a bad hand. We were an odd group.

I was new to Facebook at the time, hadn't even heard of it before I arrived on Ball State's campus. I didn't yet understand the guilt that came with friend requests–how people quickly realize (if they're the stalking type) that you've un-friended or denied them. So I'm sorry that I did that to you, made you add me I mean. I knew when I saw your Facebook picture (a rather tight leather-ish outfit, you in a bar) that I would never be someone you considered a friend. I was okay with that, but you were boosting my friend numbers, and that seemed important enough for me to keep you for a while.

Thanks for being really kind to us. I know it's hard to smile for that many hours in a row when you're around people you don't know, wearing a bright red shirt so that everyone knows you're a leader. You handled it well, & I know that people were jealous of us because we obviously had the COOL group leader–the one in the know about parties & where to hang out & what campus life & what dangers we were really putting ourselves in.

Hope you're doing well,
Megan

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