an excuse to eat crackers

I wish I could say that the 12 hours of sleep I got last night resulted in me feeling a world of difference in this cold. I'm on day three of death by drippy nose, still hosting a stomach that makes the most terrifying noises. I have been spilling cups of tea, rubbing my eyes that seem to be on fire, crying about buying the wrong crackers, drinking tea until I'm bloated from water intake & sleeping.

The sleeping makes me more upset. I am not good at resting–at letting things go, slowing down or allowing my body to take a break. This is how I got sick to begin with, from all the running around between get-togethers, meetings, classes & class work. I haven't had time to get myself back in shape (again, epic fail on the yoga & slipping on the push-ups from time to time). It's no wonder my body just hit me upside the head & said, "Hey! Quit your shit. We can't keep doing this."

So here I am. A roll of tissue paper for Kleenex & pot #2 of tea for the day–green tea with rose & violet, which tastes like the perfume of the woman who sits next to you at church. I went to bed at 8:30 last night, got up at 7 a.m. to make us some pain perdu (happening far too often) & could have slept for another 12 hours. 

Instead, while Joe went off to work I set myself to cleaning the apartment, my Thursday ritual. In between activities, I sipped tea & ate TUC crackers (great story behind their "name"). This resulted in me eating half a package of crackers. I do this when I'm sick. I am convinced that they make me feel better. 

So let's look at how Megan gets better:

• 1 package crackers (flavor & style varies, depending on illness; saltines only for flu)
• carbonated mineral water & orange juice (or save a euro & buy Orangina for the best of both worlds)
• tea + tea +tea
• cuddling Joe (which, surprise, got him sick but did wonders for me)
• STOP WORKING

One of these steps rarely happens. When I was younger, it was the tea. I hated it. There was no way I'd go near it. Now, I guzzle it (all but herbals, with the exception of chamomile)... but I can't get myself to stay under the covers & let myself get better. I instantly begin panicking about how behind I am, how much I won't get done, how I want to read but my head hurts too much.

A personal goal for this year was to get better at listening to my body. This goes well when I stick to my yoga, but we all know how that goes. I've fallen (hard) off of that wagon. So I'm resting. I've given up on reading, grading, shopping for Christmas, eating, all of it. I'm staying warm, snuggling up with some tea & watching the snow fall.

I tend to get sick around each change of seasons (just like the start of the semester, sick for the first week of teaching & leaving a great impression on the students). This then tends to make me hate winter. As I look at the snow on the tree-covered hills & the smoke rolling from the
tile rooftops, my opinion is changing. It looks like "A Christmas Carol" outside.

Once I get myself better, I think this could be my greatest winter yet. My students are complaining about the bitter cold, but I'm still finding it invigorating to walk around with gloves & a thick scarf. The air is crisp, but there is no Jack Frost (or wind) biting at your nose. There is only the feeling of the coming holidays, the sound of the snow underfoot & the warmth of Joe's arm wrapped in mine as we walk down the slippery sidewalk.